Turkeys gone wild, coyotes complacent

Padded socks? Check. Podiatrist-approved shoes? Check. “Antiques Road Show”-bound Walkman? Check. Sharp-point walking stick? Check. And off I go with everything I need for my daily walk through Oak Hill. “Why the latter?” you ask. Because the attack turkeys have arrived!

As some have observed, rafters (yes, that’s the term) of wild turkeys regularly roam the streets of Oak Hill. Up till recently, they have minded their own ugly business, eschewing the aggressive traits of their Brookline brethren, recently reported by the Boston Globe to be chasing people and nipping them in embarrassing spots, such as Coolidge Corner. However, menacingly close to my home, a person of my acquaintance was pursued the other day by two turkeys who broke off from their gang and pursued him for two blocks until he flagged down a passing car and jumped in. The waddling wonders then continued their turkey trot after the car before giving up a block or so down. The victim of these young turks prefers to remain anonymous, lest he find himself in a Letterman monologue as the late-night letch continues to try to change the subject from sexual harassment. But I digress…

It’s bad enough that I have found myself, on many occasions while walking, within munching distance of Wily E. Coyote’s cousin in broad daylight. One would think that our coyotes-in-residence could at least help themselves to enough turkey treats to keep us humans — especially the many small children in the area — out of this particular pecking order. But no, there seems to be enough fowl play (and bad puns) to go around.

Unfortunately, calls to the authorities yield no results. Messages to the answering machine at the receiving end of the Animal Control line go unanswered, although I’m sure the call which I insisted the victim make about the attitudinal turkeys elicited a few laughs over there. My neighbor once called the police about the coyote and was told he would have to catch it in the act of behaving badly. It seems to me that such a creature inhaling and exhaling in a densely populated neighborhood fits that bill, but I guess I’m mistaken. I made a similar call when one loped complacently in front of my car in the middle of the day as though I were interrupting his busy schedule. Apparently a coyote in a residential area in daylight hours in not considered to be a problem. Do the rights of the animals end at the beginning of my arm? I remain alert for the first sign of a coyote attempting either home invasion or perhaps identity theft.

So far, I have not been pursued by the coyote. He (she?) goes his way, I go mine. As for marauding turkeys, I’ll guess I’ll have to wing it when I walk from now on, locked and loaded. Welcome to Oak Hill, Newton, Massachusetts, where the wild things are.

Ann Green is a freelance writer seeking a recipe for poisonous cranberry sauce.

Read more: Green: Turkeys gone wild, coyotes complacent – Newton, Massachusetts – Newton TAB http://www.wickedlocal.com/newton/opinion/opinion_columnists/x1312010939/Green-Turkeys-gone-wild-coyotes-complacent#ixzz1Kq7IImf3